Just thinking…by Mark J. McArdle

Note: Some content may not be appropriate for young readers.

Our longest drive of the trip is behind us. We started early this morning in Amarillo, and planned to take I-40E to Oklahoma City, and then I-44E to St. Louis.

But before I review today’s activities, there’s a few things I’ve missed in my previous posts that I want to put on the record.

1) Attention Rogers Wireless. Your “partners” serving the US Southwest are horrible. For them to call themselves wireless communications providers is a complete joke. I had a call with a colleague that started just before the Nevada/Arizona border at the Hoover Dam. The call dropped at least 6 times. And a few hours later, in New Mexico, we tried to call home to talk to our kids and Grandma and Papa with the same results. Whoever runs these companies, and collects fees should be ASHAMED. You’re bad at what you do, and your shareholders and customers should drop you on your incompetent ass. Ok, that felt good.

2) Why are there so many vasectomy reversal billboards in Arizona? There’s clearly a market for this, because there we so many ads for this service that you couldn’t help but wonder what was going on in Arizona.

3) Should you be able to buy booze and fireworks at the same superstore? We saw stores that sold *only* booze and fireworks. What level of government thinks that this is a combination that makes sense?

4) KEEP TO THE RIGHT EXCEPT TO PASS. Every other leg of the trip was fine, but this one had too many left lane hogs.

5) Don’t call my wife Ma’am. It pisses her off.

6) Don’t let me drive for more than 11 hours because I forget where I’m’s going.

7) Amarillo has farms with a billion cows on them. We drove by them, and used a very complex algorithm to estimate the number of cows we saw. When it goes for a mile, and all you see are cows, it automatically is a billion. How would you like your steak done tonight, sir?

Alright, I think we can review today’s trek. We both knew going into today’s journey that it was going to be the longest and least interesting of our voyage. But we both had a great attitude, and were going to make it fun. We left Amarillo around 7:30am CDT this morning, and headed east on I-40. I had checked the weather before the trip, and it was calling for thunderstorms in Oklahoma City by noon, and rain/storms throughout the rest of the trek through Oklahoma. I wasn’t worried though. I had new wipers installed, and the front tires were new in California. But I knew bad weather would kill my lap times. But you have to go with the flow on this kind of trip.

The countryside was rolling, through the whole day, but we were on a steady decline towards the Mississippi. As we were heading east through Texas, we encountered “the largest cross in the western hemisphere”. This trip was full of “biggest/largest” sites. We saw the “biggest giftshop in the world” as well. The most striking observation was the devastation of the forests bordering the Interstate. Vast numbers of trees were snapped in half, and most had large limbs broken off. It was a very strange sight. It looked like some angry giant had wandered through kicking and punching the trees on his way to dinner. The fury of the tornadoes in this part of the US is right there for you to see. I can’t imagine what it’s like to sit in your home in the midst of one of these storms.

When things were getting dull on the road, and we’d exhausted all of ABBA’s greatest hits, we played trivia games. Helen brought out the cards, and the miles flew by. My answers were predictable. I either knew the answer, and proudly shouted it out, or says “stupid question, who cares”. Did you know that there are 3 types of poodles? Miniature, Toy and Standard. Duh!

During one of our pit stops, we decided to do some tourist shopping. We got a couple of little things for the kids, and then discovered the cowboy hat section. All of a sudden, owning a cowboy hat seemed like the most important thing in the world to me. After trying several on (and yes, only XL would fit my fat head), I settled on a winner. Helen needed a bit of encouragement, but after trying a few, she found one she liked. So off we went, 2 Canadians wearing cowboy hats, bombing down I-40 in an M5 singing ABBA songs. I believe that made us “unique”.

We encountered a few State Revenue Enhancement Officers in their shiny cars today. The radar detector was performing perfectly. It became a game for us. The alarm would go off, and then we’d try to be the first to spot the Smokey. This game got so intense that we missed our off-ramp in Oklahoma City and had to backtrack. Thanks, GPS devices, sorry for the extra work.

As we pulled into downtown St. Louis, and drove past the huge arch, I started to have brain fade. The GPS was taking us to the Renaissance Hotel, but I was sure we were staying at a Marriott. We drove past the Renaissance, which annoyed the GPS, and pulled over to the side of the road. We pulled out the MacBook to try and find a confirmation email (which wasn’t there). I tried to find an open WiFi access point, but among the 50+ available, NONE were open. WELL DONE ST. LOUIS! You’re taking security seriously. But how about a Metro-net with free WiFi for lost travellers. Helen had the sane suggestion: Do what the GPS is telling you. She had faith that when I programmed it 3 nights ago, I knew where we were going. She’s a smart girl. We did that, and I ran in to sheepishly ask “Mister, do I have a reservation here?” Yes, we were in the right spot. It turns out that Marriott owns this Renaissance hotel.

I gave the keys to the valet guy, because I’d clearly lost the ability to control a motorized vehicle. We checked in, had dinner, then went to the health club for a hot tub and sauna. The sauna didn’t work. But that didn’t matter. It was another great day.

I remarked to Helen after our night in LA that this felt like a second Honeymoon to me. We were spending a ton of time together, and experiencing things together for the first time. It’s been a trip of a lifetime, and I couldn’t be happier with how it’s going.

Tomorrow, we head off for the short (4 hour) trip to the Windy City. We’re going to spend 2 nights there at the Fairmont, and then finally head home. Grandma and Papa are having a wonderful time with the kids, but we’re really looking forward to seeing them again.

mJm

We both awoke early this morning, at around 5:30am MST. The fact that it was MST is relevant, because until we checked out, I wasn’t sure what timezone we were in. Arizona forgoes the DST drama, so we were living basically in PDT. That meant Texas would be 2 hours ahead of us, instead of 1.

Anyhow, Helen had a great idea. We were up before dawn, and she thought we should drive back to the Grand Canyon (about 10 mins) and watch the sunrise before heading off to Amarillo. So we quickly showered, packed and checked out. We arrived just after 6am, and there was already a small crowd gathered. The sky was pretty bright, but because of our altitude, the sun had not risen over the canyon yet.

I set up my gear, and prepared for an incredible experience. It was a beautiful sunrise, and we enjoyed the cool morning air and the spectacular site of the sun rising over the canyon, and bringing to life the rich colours of nature’s greatest canyon.

It was time to hit the road. This was going to be one of our two long driving days. The route would take us pretty much east across Arizona, New Mexico and northern Texas. One side trip I had planned was to visit the Arizona Meteor Crater. It is just a few miles south of I-40, and Helen agreed it would be neat to take a look at this magnificently preserved crater. When we stood on the rim and took in this spectacle, it was difficult to imagine how a chunk of iron about 150′ across could create this kind of devastation. Issac Newton had it right with mv^2 because that chunk of rock must have been really moving!

It was back on the road, and pretty much easy driving. We stopped for fuel and bio-breaks and watched the scenery fly by. Helen has been keeping a written record of all the different state license plates she’s seeing on the drive. It would be amazing to see all 50, but so far, we’re very close to 40, including Hawaii (we saw that in Vegas). One other fun thing we’re doing is waving out the window/sunroof when we pass a car/van/truck with Ontario license plates. The other drivers probably think we’re just some kooks, because we’re typically passing them at about 35mph faster than they’re going. We’ve had a few waves though!

The “big thing” in Amarillo as far as I am concerned is the Cadillac Ranch. Someone (a farmer I believe) half buried 10 Cadillacs in the ground in his field. They’re buried at an interesting angle, and it’s a bit of a tourist trap. I’ll have to read the real story behind this. In any event, I told Helen we were going to stop here before hitting the hotel. I assumed (incorrectly) that she know what this was. When we arrived, she was quite surprised. She thought I was taking her to some hill with a lots of Cadillacs on it because she heard “everything’s bigger in Texas”. We wandered out to explore, and had the place pretty much to ourselves. I think putting graffiti on the cars is welcomed, because there were cans of spraypaint, and it was clear lots of others had left their mark.

After the pictures, we set off to the hotel, which was nearby. We checked in, then headed to the Japanese Steakhouse next door (think Benihana). We ate, and now we’re ready to crash.

Tomorrow is the longest leg. Amarillo to St. Louis. Straight through Tornado country. I’m counting on the competency of the BMW aerodynamicists to keep us on the tarmac.

mJm

Dinner plans changed last night. After checking with the concierge, it became clear that dinner at Koi at 6pm would put our 8pm curtain at Spamalot at risk. So, we left our dinner plans in the capable hands of the Bellagio concierge. He made reservations for us at Okada, a Japanese restaurant at the Wynn hotel, which conveniently, was where Spamalot was playing.

We arrived at around 6:10pm for our 6:15pm reservations. I went to the box office to pick up our tickets. The package came with tickets for the show, tickets for 2 free “holy grail” cups (beer included), and a backstage tour after the performance.

Dinner was wonderful (again). We had a window seat (thanks to Helen’s efforts), and enjoyed the Oh Toro very much. We arrived with time to spare for the show. It was really funny, and most of the best parts of the movie were re-told in the play. I still love that line – “How can you tell he’s a King? He hasn’t got sh%t all over him.”

The tour afterwards was amazing. We started at the top in the lighting and effects booth, and went down floor by floor until we were on stage. It’s pretty amazing to see all the things that go into a show like this. We were given a disposable film camera, so when we get those pictures back I’ll post the best of that lot. The tour was hosted by the percussionist from the orchestra. He was a brit with a great sense of humour, and the tour was alot of fun.

The only thing that wasn’t fun about our Vegas trip was the taxi ride back to the Bellagio. Traffic was completely gridlocked. Oh well.

The next morning, we had the buffet breakfast, and then Helen tried to strike it rich at the blackjack video machines. While she played, I got the bellman to get our bags, and arranged for the car to be delivered.

We took a few more pictures, including the critical “Melen North America Tour” shot in front of the “Welcome to Las Vegas” sign.

The drive to the Grand Canyon went quickly. It was less than 4 hours. I finished my McAfee career with a call with one of my colleagues. The lack of mobile phone coverage near the Nevada/Arizona border made that a bit of a challenge. As we crossed the Hoover Dam, we saw the huge new suspension bridge they are building. Man, the guys who work on that definitely earn their pay. Wow.

We arrived in Grand Canyon Village around 3:30pm, and made our plans for seeing the canyon. It was a short drive from our hotel, and we found the parking spot close to where we read there were great spots for pictures.

I grabbed my camera bag and off we went. Here’s some of the pictures. I really like how many of them turned out, but no camera can capture the grandeur of this natural wonder. We were both blown away.

Most of the official trail observation points are bordered with low fences. But we spotted a very beautiful rock formation/cliff a few hundred feet from where we were that was completely open to the canyon. We braved the trek down there, and I went first with only my camera and 2 lenses on board. It was exhilarating to be rock climbing in a place like this. As scary as it looked, I was somewhat comforted by the 10 year old Japanese kids who made it down there.

After I took some pictures, Helen and I swapped spots. She had the entire rock face to herself. It was really beautiful watching her stare off into the chasm while waiting for me to set up my equipment. We’re very happy we made this stop.

Tomorrow morning, we’re off to Amarillo, Texas. It’s a long day of driving, with the GPS estimating around 11 hours. I’m confident we’ll shave some time off of that.

mJm

After a spectacular night at Koi, we awoke early this morning, and started planning today’s adventure. We had a great breakfast at the Beverly Wilshire, then checked out and headed for Hollywood. After a tour down Sunset Blvd, then up and over Hollywood Blvd, we turned around and found a place to park that wasn’t too far from the Kodak Theater.

Because it was Sunday morning, traffic was light, and there weren’t very many people around. We did notice some activity in front of Mann’s Chinese Theater. They were preparing for a premier, and across the street, people were actually camped out for the day awaiting the festivities. The signs on the theater said that some Owen Wilson movie was playing (and it didn’t look like a particularly memorable movie), so seeing people early Sunday waiting for this premier seemed odd to say the least. I enquired with one woman, and apparently there is a new Jody Foster movie. Well, that makes a bit more sense I guess.

After taking some pictures, we wandered into a mall adjacent to the Kodak Theater. Helen bought some flash new movie star sunglasses, for all of $15. Sweet.

We wanted to go and have a picture of us wearing our Melen North American Tour t-shirts in front of the Hollywood sign. We could see it from Hollywood Blvd, but I had no idea where exactly you could get close enough for a good picture. So we drove around for a while, and I declared us lost, and no where near the sign. The GPS was of no use, because apparently the sign doesn’t rate as a destination. Helen had a great idea though, she said “google the sign’s address on your blackberry.” Brilliant, one search later, I had an address that was “close” to the sign. You can’t go right up to it because of an electric fence, and some land mines. Ok, I made up the land mines part.

We drove up, and up, and twisted and turned through a residential neighbourhood. The road was at most 1.5 car widths wide, and I was getting nervous around these tight quarters. We finally arrived at a spot right at the top of the hill next to “no trespassing” signs. We set up the tripod for some pictures, and as we were doing that, a stretch limo showed up, and a buff guy in an ESPN jacket and his wife and 2 young daughters got out. Their limo driver kept calling him “Doc”, but I have no idea who he was.

We asked their limo driver to take our picture, and then packed up our troubles, and headed back down the hill. After a fuel stop, we were on our way to Las Vegas. Only 3.5 hours away.

We’ve checked into the Bellagio, and are ready for another fun night. We’re going to have dinner at Koi Las Vegas. Yes, we loved dinner last night so much that we’re eating there tonight. Hey, it’s no big whoop. I eat at McDonald’s in different cities frequently.

After dinner, I have (I think, subject to confirmation from the concierge) acquire sweet tickets for Spamalot at the Wynn hotel. We get a backstage tour as well, so this should be a riot.

Anyhow, gotta start getting ready for dinner…More later.

mJm

I am writing this from the largest hotel room balcony I’ve ever had. We are at the Beverly Wilshire Hotel in downtown Beverly Hills. It’s an incredible hotel, and the room is spectacular, but I’ll get to that later.

We started off this morning in a misty, wet San Jose just before 8am. We said ‘goodbye’ to the San Jose Fairmont, and headed on our coastal drive down HWY 1. If you’re not familiar with this road, it’s one of the greatest scenic drives on the planet. It runs down the coast of California, and has many twists and turns along the way. It’s no way near as fast as taking 101 or 5, but it’s 1000% more interesting.

Our first stop was Pebble Beach. We decided it was worth the time to drive through Monterey and 17 mile drive. We stopped at The Lodge for a quick pitstop, and then refueled.

It was a bit overcast for most of the trip. As we hit the windy parts near Big Sur, I really started to enjoy the drive. We were going briskly, but safely, spending most of our time in 3rd gear, with an occasional drop to 2nd. When we encountered the occasional car in front of us, something incredible kept happening…They would just pull over to the side. It was as if they had received instructions at a breakfast briefing, informing them that Mark McArdle was on his fantasy roadtrip, and that they should yield the road to him to prevent any loss of joy through the windy road. Helen and I discussed what could actually be motivating them to do this. I wasn’t tailgating, so that wasn’t it. I think it’s the “where’d he come from” effect. Helen thinks it’s the sound of my engine as I downshift while reducing speed behind them. That’s throttle blip/road does have quite an aggressive edge to it.

In any event, this kind, thoughtful people allowed me to enjoy the road, and it definitely lived up to expectations. We had only gone this far south on HWY 1 once before when we lived in California. We reached Big Sur and then headed east to catch 101 for the return home. But now we were breaking new territory.

Soon enough, the roads straightened out, which was probably for the best. The active seat bolsters had been given a good hour+ workout, but I’m sure the M5 enjoyed that stretch of road as much as I did. Helen video recorded some sections of it. I can’t wait to see those!

Helen spotted lots of seals on the beach, so we stopped at a convenient spot and went to take a look. There were hundreds of them lounging on the sand dunes. It was pretty funny watching the big ones slink there away along the sand.

A little ways down the road, we reached San Simeon, the home of Hearst Castle. We had been advised that it’s worth the time to stop and see it, so we pulled off. When we got the the parking lot, we realized that it was a pretty big hike up to the castle, so we stopped and took a few pictures with the long lens. I’m sure it’s very nice, but we really wanted to get to LA.

After stopping for a delicious lunch at a place called Burger King, it was back on the road. We passed by Vandenberg Air Force Base (aka Air Force Space Command)…I love the sound of that title, it sounds like something from Buzz Lightyear. Next it was Oxnard, and then down to Malibu!

I’d only driven around Malibu once, and thought it was really beautiful. A couple of minutes into town, we pulled over at an vista point. There was a couple staring out at the ocean, and we joined them. We quickly learned that they had spotted whales! Helen was so excited, and couldn’t believe that I’d arranged for whales in Malibu. Well, I am a resourceful guy, and I know how much she loves to see whales in the Pacific. It wasn’t long before we saw the plume of misty exhaust from one of those beautiful creatures. They were only about 150 yards off shore, so you could see a bit of detail. After snapping a few pictures, we took off on our way.

The next stop I had planned was a little tour of a neighbourhood in Malibu where David Letterman has a house. It’s also the area where Johnny Carson lived. Helen video recorded this little section of town as we drove through it. We came upon a group of young men all wearing white shirts and black pants in front of a house surrounded by cars. They were valet parking attendants for someone’s party. I joked that if we kept a straight face and tossed him the keys, we might be able to crash a cool Malibu party. But we thought the video camera in Helen’s hand and our Ontario license plates screamed “tourist”, so we kept going.

As we got closer to LA, the cars started improving too. A couple of Lambos, a few Bentleys and the occasional Ferrari were spotted. We stopped for a few minutes (unintentionally due to a wrong turn) at the Santa Monica Pier. Then it was back on I-10, and I-405 for a few minutes before we had arrived in Beverly Hills.

Because this was Helen’s first trip to Los Angeles, I really wanted to make it special for her. So I made reservations at the hotel made famous by the Julia Roberts/Richard Gere movie “Pretty Woman”. It seemed so appropriate for this trip, and made a great spot to celebrate the next stage in our lives. She is my “Pretty Woman” and I wanted her to feel that way too.

The GPS worked brilliantly, navigating us right to the entrance to the Beverly Wilshire. We were greeted by several hotel staff. The bags and the car were taken care of, and we were escorted to reception and received an overview of the hotel on the way.

We checked in, and headed to our room in the “new tower”. As we entered the elevator, I shouted “Well colour me happy, there really are sofas built for two!” We were in a Suite overlooking Rodeo Drive and the surrounding hills. It was a stunning suite. The huge balcony I mentioned earlier is accessed by either the door from the sitting room, or the one in the bedroom. There were 2 plasma TVs and very comfortable furniture. As Helen enjoyed the view from the balcony, a woman 9 stories below her shouted up “how’s the view?” She said it was just like the guy in “Pretty Woman” who shouted “Welcome to Hollywood!”.

We had a quick drink from the minibar, and then headed off to see the sites of Rodeo Drive.

Now this is the part of the story where you have to suspend your disbelief. When Helen arrived on Friday she said “you know how you always forget something when you go on a trip, well I forgot to bring jewelery.” Right, Helen, who never forgets anything, and is always completely organized conveniently “forgot” her jewelery, knowing that she’d be steps away from Rodeo Drive in a couple of days. So, because we were dining out at a very nice restaurant that night, she wanted to see if she could get a necklace and some earrings. And off we went. Fortunately, Helen was NOT heading in the direction of Cartier or Harry Winston. She found a nice set, which were not crusted with diamonds. They would work perfectly for tonight, and not have me calling my boss at McAfee asking to come back because I was broke.

We then returned to the hotel before any more damage could be done, and got ready for dinner. Helen loves sushi, so when I was planning this night, I decided to find a great sushi restaurant. I quickly discovered that there was a Koi Restaurant nearby. Perfect! We had reservations for 8pm and arrived right on time. This restaurant is so good that they don’t even have their name on the front. It’s covered with plants and Ivy, and a doorman won’t let you in unless you’re “on the list”. Well fortunately, we were on that list. We had a half Grey Goose, half Bombay Sapphire martini while we waited briefly for our table.

We were seated in a section that was candle lit, and open to the stars above with heaters to keep you warm. It was really beautiful. We had a spectacular dinner of crispy rice (oh, that was unbelievably good), and sushi consisting of salmon, shrimp and toro. Helen also tried Kobe beef for the first time, and loved it. As we were nearing the end of our main course, Helen, who was sitting facing the “people” side of the table was looking over my shoulder. She leaned over and said “there’s that guy from Saturday Night Live”. I looked over and said “is that Kato Kaelin”. After staring awkwardly for a few more seconds, I realized it was none other than David Spade. So Helen not only had an amazing hotel suite and a fantastic restaurant for her first trip to LA, she also had a celebrity sighting! But we weren’t finished with celebrities yet. She also spotted what she called a “very attractive black man” sitting with 4 beautiful women. When I returned from the restroom, Helen told me that the waiter said he was Jason Taylor from the Miami Dolphins, and he’s in LA doing “Dancing with the Stars”. Well, that’s celebrity number 2. I think based on where her eyes were focused that Helen thought Mr. Taylor was more “interesting” than Mr. Spade. Sorry, David.

It’s now Sunday morning, at around 6:30am, and all is quiet. Our plan for today is to see a few more sights, specifically Hollywood and the famed sign, and then head across the desert to Las Vegas. Next stop, Bellagio.

mJm

From Phil’s Traditional Top 10 List for Departing Executives

Top 10 Reason’s McArdle is leaving McAfee

10. Got Falcon 1 AND Falcon 2 on my resume. What else is left for me to do here?
9. Just realized he was supposed to spend more time in the Sunnyvale office as part of his assignment…No way.
8. Wants to focus his time buying up American real estate.
7. Starting to bob his head sideways, even when he is saying “yes”.
6. Spending too much time south of the border…Waterloo team is making fun of his American accent.
5. Wanted to see how many going away parties he could get out of McAfee.
4. Bolin, Kinslow, Gebhart and Barney keep calling him the short Canadian guy.
3. He heard DeWalt was cutting the Japan Office Budget…No sushi dinners…No McArdle-san.
2. Can’t figure out if Todd’s staff meeting is 1 1/2 hours or 2 hours…either way, it’s lunch time in Waterloo.

and….

1. Canadian dollar is way up…I’m RICH!

Thanks to Phil and the team for coming up with this hilarious list. It was a great send off.

The day I’ve been dreading is finally upon me. Back in October, when I made the decision to leave this incredible job so I could reset my life and spend more time at home with my young family, I knew this day was coming.

On Thursday night, I spent some time with my Sunnyvale team, reminiscing about past accomplishments, sharing insights into what may be around the corner, and laughing over the many great moments of levity we shared. I think the ability to laugh during your darkest days is something that differentiates the winners from the losers and also-rans. At times, things will be hellish, but as long as you have the ability to even imagine the glimmer of light at the end of the tunnel, and crack a joke that relieves the tension in a room, you’ll find a way to get through it. Laughter has gotten me through some very tough days.

I don’t know what is next for me professionally. I know I have too much passion to be “done”. But it’s extremely tough right now to imagine what could follow this adventure, and have me jumping out of bed in the morning (or sleeping under my desk). But the experiences and friendships I have will be treasured assets. I’ve been all over the world, worked with some of the smartest people in the business, and thrived in a product environment where literally every day poses new threats and challenges. It was damn cool, and I’m so grateful to have had this opportunity.

For now, my goals are pretty straight forward. I have to finish my Private Pilots License, lose 25lbs, and get my golf game down to a 9 handicap. Not the most ambitious goals I’ve set for myself over the last decade, but ones that feel pretty damn good right now.

I’m looking forward to being a full time Dad and husband for a while!
mJm

Today was a nice transition from Road Trip to Work.

The office was pretty quiet because several of the execs I work with are out of the office, either on PTO or in Asia.

This afternoon, I took the M5 to get some new front shoes. When I put the summer tires on back in Waterloo, I was told that the fronts would get me there, but that I need to avoid very wet conditions. Mission accomplished. And Helen is very happy to hear that we have new, grippy rubber on all four wheels.

I’m reviewing the trip logs, and will post a summary of time/distance. I may have to cleanse some of the data, lest it be used against me in a court of law ;)

I think tomorrow night, after work, I will drive around to some of our old haunts, and take some pictures. I’m pleased with how some of the shots I took on the way here turned out, especially the one I took while Ravindra held the steering wheel as I screwed around with Apertures. It’s a neat mountain reflection shot, with motion blur in the foreground.

I definitely plan to take many more pictures when Helen and I are together. It will be a much more leisurely pace. I’ve posted some of the shots I took on flickr.

Sounds like I missed yet another big dumping of snow. I’ve been good at doing that this winter. I hope next winter is mild, or I may be calling my friends at McAfee back!

mJm

The E60 M5 has a voracious appetite for roads. Especially roads which utilize all 3 dimensions. I knew before beginning this adventure that my car was up to the challenge. I’ve had a few, much shorter, road trips that confirmed for me that this was not just a car that is very comfortable, but is one that cantake on any road that is offered.

For those of you who are not motorheads, the BMW E60 M5 is a 500 BHP Sedan (Saloon to our British friends). It offers 100 HP/Passenger when fully loaded. You cannot name another 4 door Sedan that delivers this level of performance. I’m sure the guys at AMG are hard at work to remedy this. The transmission has 2 basic modes: Automatic, and SMG. You know what Automatic is. SMG is “Sequential Manual Gearbox”. It’s the paddle shifting technology you may know from things like Formula 1. Think of it as a manual gearbox where instead of a stick, you have an upshift paddle and a downshift paddle mounted on the steering wheel, and the clutch pedal is replaced by some pretty amazing electronics. In the M5, there are 6 different levels of “aggressiveness” that you can select for the gearbox. Level 6 is only available when you turn off Traction Control, so I drive it in L5 unless I want to leave most of my tires on the local roads.

There are many things I love about this car. The first, and most important, is the feel of the drive. The power, the precision and the pure pleasure make driving something that I look forward to. Of course, rush hour in any major city completely neuters any great car, but I am fortunate enough to live in a place where traffic is rare. Because of my work commitments, I really haven’t enjoyed this car the way I should have. And this trip is a significant remedy to that situation.

Ok, enough about the car, as much as I’d love to keep going.

This morning, Ravindra and I started our day at 8am MDT in Salt Lake City. Once again, Mother Nature smiled upon us and we had a glorious day for driving. I knew before the trip that today was going to be the longest drive. It would also be the one with the most variety. We would have mountains, desert, hills, empty Interstates and urban congestion.

The thing I have looked forward to the most was arriving at the Bonneville Salt Flats in Utah. This is the home to Speed Week, where motoring enthusiasts gather with every conceivable form of transportation to run them flat out on the salt flats. It’s a race against the clock, and not against other vehicles. There are many different classes to compete against, and it’s all great fun. It’s also serious business. There have been fatalities, but these guys died doing what they love, and you have to respect their commitment.

In my pre-trip research, I called the Utah Bureau of Land Management who own/oversee the salt flats. I wanted to know if you could pull off I-80, drive onto the flats, and press the right pedal hard and long. It was good news and bad news. The good news was, yes, you could drive on the slat flats. The bad news is the salt flats will likely be under 3″ of water.

As we drove passed the salt flats, we could see that the ground conditions would prevent us from driving on the salt. Having the car stuck in the muck was not part of our plan, but I still wanted to drive on the service road to the entry point to the flats, and take some pictures. We did this. And the service road is long, flat and pretty smooth. The next time you see me, ask about what occurred next ;)

After the exhilaration of the Bonneville Speedway was behind us, it was into Nevada and onward. The Nevada stretch was pretty dull. The mountains were distant from the Interstate, and it was pretty flat, uninteresting driving. Ravindra and I amused ourselves by spotting dirt devils off to the side and rating them on the tornado “F” scale. Most were F0.2. The most powerful tornadoes are F5. Fortunately we had music too. I’m pretty confident that there were no other Canadian geeks bombing down I-80 in an M5 listening to Queen’s Greatest Hits. But I’m willing to be proven wrong.

I was looking forward to reaching Reno. Think of Reno as Vegas-lite. It’s a pretty weak imitation, but it’s the point where you start the hike up the mountains and into California, which was the last state of our trip, and our final destination.

We climbed, though not nearly as high as in Colorado, but it was once again breathtakingly scenic and fun. We would reach just under 8000′ ASL today. The best part is the rapid decline. You are dropping like a stone (ok, that’s an exaggeration) towards the San Francisco Bay, which due to its direct connection to the Pacific Ocean is 0′ ASL.

While we saw exactly 1 State Trooper in Utah, and he was just taking his jacket off and putting it in the back of the car, within 1 hour of crossing into California, we say SIX CHP, and FIVE of them were extracting revenue from customers. Happy Easter.

But once again, I had lots of notice of the traps thanks to the Beltronics. Did I mention how much I love this device. It’s killing me that I can’t use it in Ontario. What would the call be if I have it surgically implanted inside me. I’m willing to be a cyborg to enjoy the ability to exercise due caution and care while driving above the arbitrarily set limits on our roads.

Alas, as we approached Sacramento (the state capital), we were greeted by traffic. I expected this, but it was certainly killing my fuel usage, and ate my fuel reserves for the final stop in San Jose.

Eventually, we got to the Oakland-San Francisco Bay Bridge. Ravindra had the cameras going, and he recorded our voyage across the bridge. As promised, I paid the toll for myself, and for the car behind me. I never stick around to see if they respond, although I’d like to. I like to imagine their reaction and leave it at that.

We had “The Rock” on the right side, and the city growing large in front of us. I truly love San Francisco. It’s such a unique city. When we lived in California, we would love to visit the city to shop and eat. It’s so multicultural, and for a major US city, incredibly safe. I will never grow tired of spending time there. If you have never been, you MUST go.

Despite the multiple GPS devices best council, I wanted to take Ravindra to his hotel in Palo Alto via 280 South. You can take 101, but it’s nowhere near as nice. 280 runs approximately parallel to 101, but is further west, and meanders through some beautiful scenery. I pointed out several notable sites, including the exits I would take for both of the places we called home in California. There are some loose ends that I will tie up this week. I will take pictures of the houses we lived in, and the hospital that our daughter was born in. There’s some other places that are special to Helen and I that I will stop by for a quick picture.

As I sit here in the Fairmont in San Jose, the whole trip seems to have gone by so quickly. I am so happy and proud to have actually done this trip by car. It is my nature to like happy endings and no loose ends, and driving here has given me an opportunity to see and enjoy the country I’ve spent so much time working in, and reflect on the incredible experiences and wonderful people I’ve had the pleasure of working with. I can’t wait to pick Helen up on Friday. This is her adventure as much as mine.

So, in closing, this trip and the memories, pictures and videos I have of it will be treasured forever. It also gave me a much overdue chance to spend alot of quality time with a great friend who I haven’t spent near enough time with over the last 10 years. These are things you can’t buy, and are more precious than any object you can. This trip reminded me of that.

mJm

I have now experienced Driving Heaven.

As you may know, I love to drive, and I love cars. This is the primary reason I’m driving to California this week. I wanted to enjoy the open road in a car I love, and experience all the beauty, challenge and fun that a cross country drive offers.

This morning, I awoke in Denver, and had an important errand to run. This appointment was at 9am, and my driving plan called for us to be back on the road by noon. Our route through the mountains of Colorado through to Utah would be 899kms, and would take, according to the GPS, 10 hours, non-stop.

We were on the road by 11am! This was great, we were ahead of schedule, and the weather was perfect. Our plan was to take I-70 West to US-6 North. Vail, the famous ski town, was just an hour and a half ahead of us, and we planned to have lunch there.

We started our mountain climb. The vista before us was just spectacular. It’s hard to describe and pictures don’t do justice to the scenery. You are surrounded by the majesty of these rock monuments, capped with snow, and sprinkled with trees. Every turn resulted in another, and louder, “Wow”.

What I was beginning to thoroughly enjoy, was the elevation changes, and the turns. I actually had to change gears to maintain the appropriate speed and acceleration through the mountains. It was such great fun. The traffic was again very light. We’ve been living a really blessed life on this trip (and beyond).

Denver is around 5400′ above sea level. Our drive today would take us clear above 11000′ ASL. Our ears were popping all the way up and down. And the views….wow.

Ravindra was recording on video and still the action around us. Because we had a long haul ahead of us, we wanted to keep our stationary time to a minimum. Basically fuel stops (3 a day typically) and a short lunch during one of the fuel stops.

We arrived in Vail right on time. There were ski resorts and ski chalets and villages everywhere. It was much smaller than I thought it would be though. Lunch was at Subway for the 3rd day in a row. Ravindra said we should contact them about potential sponsorship. That may be a good idea. We’re now trying to make Subway the official lunch supplier to the Mark & Rip Cross Country Tour.

On we went, after filling up with gas.

Then, we arrived at the most spectacular piece of road I’ve ever seen. This stretch even rivals the strip of road the boys from TopGear found in Switzerland. It was in a gorge between 2 massive rock faces. There was a river running parallel to the road, and there were left and right turns, rises and decents and no traffic. I was absolutely loving it. I didn’t want it to end. Fortunately, Ravindra was video taping this stretch.

When we reached the transition point at the end of this part of the journey, I actually wanted to turn around and go back to drive it again. I’ll probably regret not doing that, but I know I will drive this road again one day. It’s too good not to.

We only saw a single radar trap, and once again we were given plenty of warning by the Beltronics. It was smooth sailing all the way to the Utah border.

When we reached Utah, the scenery changed. The colors changed to TexMex beige and browns, and the mountains were softer and flatter. It was much more desert like. The Interstate changed too. The median was much wider, and the road surface was straight for incredibly long stretches. You can’t help but feel your right foot get heavier and heavier. I should point out that we never saw or heard a single police radar across all of Utah. This was different driving than the mountains, but also great fun because of the speed you could safely cruise at.

The I-70 stretch in Utah was a long one, but we reached our next waypoint which was located just past the Utah missile test range. We both eagerly watched for any launches, but alas, the sky was empty.

We turned off I-70 and onto US-6 North. This was not an Interstate. It was a 2 lane highway with a 65MPH limit, and some traffic. This was also fun, however, because the flatness and straightness of the road made passing and surveiling revenue generation units easy and fun. We tried to keep score, but when you pass 5 or 6 cars at a time, you easily lose count over a couple of hours.

This stretch of road also impressed our GPS. It was knocking off tens of minutes from our ETA with every few minutes of driving. I think it was also smiling inside, but I’m not sure.

After the flatness of US-6 turned into more hill climbs. They designed the roads well enough that you were never stuck behind slow traffic for too long before there was a passing lane. Downshift 2 gears, and press down hard, and you’re at the front of the pack, and on the hunt for the next pack. Fun, fun, fun.

We saw some neat little towns on the way through Utah. Little mining towns, and railroad towns that looked like the sets from old cowboy movies. There was lots to see as usual.

Alas, the fun of US-6 came to an end, and we joined I-15N into Salt Lake City. Soon enough, we were touring through downtown SLC looking for our hotel. We arrived right where the GPS pointed us at 715pm, but found out that I picked the wrong Marriott. They weren’t fussed, and just canceled our other reservation. The Marriott we were at was newer and nicer, so it all worked out.

Tomorrow morning, we head off to California. Our last day on the road for the outbound trip. I’m really excited about a couple of things on this stint. The first is stopping at the Bonneville Salt Flats where they run Speed Week every year. The flats will most likely be too wet for us to drive on, and try to crack the 200MPH barrier, but we’ll stop by and take some pictures, and pay hommage to the Mecca for speed freaks.

I’m also looking forward to seeing San Francisco and crossing the Bay Bridge. I’m already feeling emotional about it. The Bay Area has been such a massive part of my life for a long time, and I’m leaving her for a while. I know I’ll be back, but it’s not like before where I could guarantee I’d be back within 30 days.

I plan to continue to honor the tradition Helen and I have whenever we cross one of the bay area bridges. We commit a random act of kindness, and pay the toll for the car behind us. We pay, and we bolt off to leave the person behind us hopefully feeling good, and maybe planning on doing something nice for someone else that day. It’s a very California thing to do ;)

Well, that’s all for now. Did I mention I’m having a GREAT time?

BTW, I’ll update this with more pictures once I finally reach California.

mJm